Final Fantasy: Mixed in Balamb
by Zuperbuu
Summary: Based on the Flash Animation at Newgrounds, now with FF9! What happens when Wakka's ghost terrorises Sephiroth? Crazy events occure! Rated T for language and nudity references. Ended, cause I got bored.
1. Welcome To Balamb Garden

--**Disclaimer:** I don't own FF7 or FF7 Advent Children...I don't own FF8, FF9 or FF10…hell I don't even own this idea…..it's just based on a Flash Animation at Newgrounds, I've just added a few more characters and made my own storyline. So don't flame me, or I'll report you.--

**AN: Well me and my sister REALLY loved this flash animation and started messing around with the idea, adding our own stuff to it and taking some things out. This chapter isn't THAT good, it's just mainly here to introduce you to Balamb and who's with who…where the bathroom is and everything…just the introduction. So chill.  
Also, I'm trying to get myself back into fanfiction again, not writing anything for 3 years is hard….but getting back into it is even harder, so sorry if my typing sucks…just bare with it for a little while.  
Anyway, ONWARDS!!!**

Final Fantasy: Mixed In Balamb

**Part 1: Welcome To Balamb Garden**

  
A young man approaches the counter in the center of a large white room, two double doors behind him, one set of large doors beside the counter.  
A backpack is hung over his shoulder with a pull-along suitcase behind him, a blonde tail swishing side to side.  
Noone was at the counter.

"Hello?" the young man asked, leaning over the desk to see if someone was hiding below it. A taller yet slender young man approaches behind him, wearing hardly anything, his silver-blue hair dripping wet from the downpour outside.

"ACHOO!" the taller man sneezed, droplets of water flying from his soaking wet hair and onto the face of the smaller man beside him.

"Kuja!!! Don't get me wet too!" the young man whined as he wiped the water from his face, shimmering baby-blue eyes glaring at the taller man in an intimidating fasion.

"Not my fault that you stole the umbrella. Numbskull." Kuja snapped, twisting his cloak to squeeze any water out.  
A young woman appears out of nowhere from behind the desk, a very cheesy smile on her face. Kuja jumps back in sheer horror, the younger man merely leans himself on the counter, pulling a very flirtatious look to the woman.

"Welcome to Balam Garden, are you Mister Zidane Tribal?" the woman asked, returning a similar flirting gesture to the blonde man.

"Lucky for both of us that I am, so…how about you and me---" Zidane began, but got interrupted by his older brother shoving him out of the way, causing his sibling to fall right on his backside.

"Do you have your registration documents with you?" the woman asked, now looking slightly disappointed to be greeted by a soaking wet, very unhappy Kuja.  
He threw down a folder filled with documents onto the desk, fortunately for him it was all waterproof, otherwise they'd never get in.

"All of them are here. They've all been organised, filed and signed accordingly. We received our gate passes yesterday, but we need our dormitory assigning." Kuja explained as the woman glanced through all the documents, before speaking into her cellphone to some unknown person on the otherside.  
The large doors behind them quickly opened to reveal Squall running, he was soaked to the bone from all the rain.  
He sulked as he shook his coat as dry as he possibly could before putting it back on again, it was still VERY cold even with the coat on, a sign that winter was here.  
And he knew what was going to happen this Christmas…..especially with the 'new arrivals'.

"Oh Squall! You're back! Had the other bus arrived yet?" the woman asked as Squall approached the desk, he appeared to be very reluctant to get too close to Kuja…wondering if the person he was looking at was a man or a woman, since he ws getting some rather strange ideas over how a man could possibly dress like that and still be alive.  
He returned his gaze to the woman quickly before Kuja noticed.

"Yeah, the bus is outside. But Cid broke the front window again! He still hasn't finished his 'Drivers lessons' yet, and he's driving a bus!? What happened to old Rad-Racer!?" Squall answered, a slight tone of not only shock but sheer frustration in his voice.  
Everyone felt uneasy when Cid Highwind drove the buses, if he didn't crash it he always wound up accidently dropping people off at the wrong place.  
Everyone complained over the last field trip they had to Kami's Lookout (DBZ), Cid got so worked up over a certain 'lady' that he left everyone on the Lookout for 2 days.  
He's a student himself and has narrowly missed being flunked 4 times already, but the teachers always seem to let him off since he is the new bus driver….that and many other students believe he's actually sleeping with the headmistress.

"rad-Racer broke his collar bone after that party last Christmas, remember?" the woman answered before turning to Kuja and Zidane again "You can choose your dormitory room-mates now, although you are already assigned to 2 specific dorms you can choose who to be with." She added before continuing to talk down the phone, signalling to Squall that he should go back outside to get the other students in.  
Zidane is assigned to Floor 1.  
Kuja is assigned to Floor 2.

**Below is a grid indicating the dormatorys.ect**

Floor 1:  
Dorm1 – Cloud, Squall and Tidus.  
Dorm2 – Cid, Kadaj, available space.  
Dorm3 – Vincent, Sephiroth, Zack.  
Dorm4 – Zell (he got a second chance), Auron, available space.  
Dorm5 – Yazoo, Vivi, Amarant.

Floor 2:  
Dorm1 – Reno, Rude, Rufus.  
Dorm2 – Elena, Yuna, Garnet.  
Dorm3 – Tifa, Yuffie, Mikoto.  
Dorm4 – Available space, Rinoa, Selphie.  
Dorm5 – Loz , available space, Seifer.

**End of grid.**

Kuja selects Dorm5, but an alarm goes off.

"Oh, I am sorry…but that slot just got filled by a late entrant, she had to be placed with the boys since she's a little too hyper and dangerous for the 'normal' girls…You'll have to take Dorm4 I'm afraid…" the woman responds, Kuja slowly sinks down to his knees…almost as if he was going to faint, women. The last people he wanted to be with.  
The people who run this place must be mad to let men AND women share one room, but then again, he'd be the first man in the same room with girls….and he hated that idea, he hated women with a passion after the beating he got from his sister Mikoto.

"Who the hell was it!? Who gets to be with the guys!?" Kuja demanded.  
The woman pointed to the door, Kuja turned to see a very grumpy Rikku stood behind him…she was soaking wet.  
He didn't exactly know who this kid was or why she seemed to pissed-off at him, it was only until he looked at the name-tag on the umbrella Zidane stole that it became clear….the umbrella was HERS.

"You thieving BASTARDS!" Rikku snapped as she charged to the blonde man carrying her umbrella, Zidane leaped up onto the desk as Rikku launched for him before leaping up higher out of Rikku's reach and started to tease her…dropping the umbrella every now and then before quickly raising it from her grasp, someone quickly smacked Zidane down from his perching place and grasped the umbrella in their only free hand.

"You should know better, punk." said a low-toned voice, the man returned Rikku's umbrella to her without any complaint.  
"A thief in Balamb, Quistis won't be happy." the man added as he faced the now unhappy Zidane, who was rubbing his head as he was sat in a slouched position.

"Auron! How many times have I told you not to hit newcomers!!!" shouted a strong feminine voice, Auron sweatdropped upon hearing the voice and slowly turned away as if trying to hide himself from the inevitable doom ahead.  
Quistis was stood between the doors of the entrance to the man Balamb center, hands on hips and looking very unimpressed by her new arrivals and her current students.

"Honestly! You hit Tidus when he first came here because he 'asked too many questions', then you hit Loz for being a 'cry-baby'! Now you hit another student because he's a 'theif-type'!? If you harm another new student again Auron you'll be thrown out of Balamb for good! Do you hear me!?" Quistis yelled, tapping her foot in irritation at Aurons very childish behaviour.

"Yes, Quistis…" Auron mumbled under his breath, sulking slightly.

"Then go back to your dormitory and I'll speak to you later, as for the rest of you, head over to your dormitorys aswell. Zidane you've been forced into Dorm4 with Auron and Zell, the last few spaces have been filled up." Quistis added.  
Auron quickly took his leave, cursing under his breath as Rikku followed up behind him, trying to thank him for returning her umbrella from the 'beastly-brats' grasp.  
Kuja was still sulking over getting stuck in the girls room, hopefully when he chooses his classes tomorrow he'll get better luck.  
Zidane was slightly worried, he only met Auron and didn't like him.  
_'That jerk! Who does he think he is!? Coming up and hitting me like that!? Ignorant bastard, I'll show him!' _Zidane thought to himself as he entered the doors to Balamb Garden, the place where all Final Fantasy characters come to learn more about skills and fighting abilities.

**AN: Well, that's it…told ya it wouldn't be much. Next chappie will be bigger, I SWEAR! Okay, this just lets you know who was where and what FF: Mixed In Balamb Garden is all about. Hope it did just that, please R&R!**


	2. Chaos In The Dorms!

--**Disclaimer:** I don't own FF7 or FF7 Advent Children...I don't own FF8, FF9 or FF10…hell I don't even own this idea…..it's just based on a Flash Animation at Newgrounds, I've just added a few more characters and made my own storyline. So don't flame me, or I'll report you.--

**AN: Once again, I apologise for the small chapter previously made. But this one should be bigger! Honest!**

Final Fantasy: Mixed In Balamb

**Part 2: Chaos In The Dorms!**

  
The new term was beginning, all the previous students had now finished their old courses and had to take up new ones alongside their training program that takes place 2 times a week.  
Anyone who didn't take training sessions along with their other courses would have to take up 'cleaning duty', but the only one person who had to do this was Zell….he failed all his courses last term and never showed up for training, so now he has to train, take classes AND do clean-up duty. Poor idiot.  
The time had finally arrived for the newcomers to choose their classes, they had specific categories and special courses to choose from, but after one class fills up the remaining students will be forced to select another.  
Anyone selecting late will be thrown into the remaining empty seats of the last few classes.

Unfortunately for Zidane, Rikku and Kuja that they where late applicants, the 'Sports' class was full, the most popular subject in all of Balamb Garden.  
Squall, Cloud and Tidus where having difficulties in the 'sports studies' course due to unnecessary and preventable interference, the main problem being Tidus letting anyone into their dorm…absolutely ANYONE.  
The last person he let in was Sephiroth, who wanted revenge on Cloud for embarrassing him in the Photography class….poor Cloud had to wear a paper bag for a week after Sephiroth was done with him, even now he dreads sleeping in the dorm when Tidus had the key…he felt so insecure.  
Zell was lucky, Auron was the best roommate ever! He always gave Zell some of his drinks and any party-goods he came back with, but the best part was that Auron didn't take shit from anyone…and didn't let anyone boss Zell around or even set foot in the dorm, so what if Zell was an annoying roommate? At least he didn't snore like Cid Highwind did….or wet the bed after every bad dream like a certain Black-haired ex-SOLDIER….who unfortunately loved throwing parties in his room that was right **next door.  
**  
Zack, the last person you'd want to share a room with and work in peace….the word 'peace' doesn't even exist in that room, Vincent always sneaks into Cid's place whenever Zack started arguing with Sephiroth….those two would be up all night arguing or complaining about something, even the poor souls above them on Floor 2 suffered from the almost restless nights.  
It wasn't as bad though as the sounds from Rufus' place, that guy really knew how to make a noise.

The owners of Balamb must be retarded since they allowed Rufus to carry his shotgun everywhere with him, he also seemed to like being with 'the ladies for special evenings' if you know what I mean….but what really ticked his neighbours was the fact that the bastard always fired his shotgun for no real reason, blowing holes in the ceiling...holes in the walls…shooting at pillows, getting feathers everywhere…the Turks didn't mind it though, but then again, they are normally always drunk and cause enough destruction as it is.  
The only person who even tries to complain about the noise is Yazoo, since his room was directly below Rufus' place.

To try and take their mind off it all, Yazoo would often arrange for Loz and Kadaj to try and play a prank on their older brother (Sephiroth) every time possible. Mainly around Halloween and Christmas…normally involving Rufus' shotgun and a bowl of Sephiroth's most hated fruit, but last year they couldn't do it…since Loz was an idiot and ate all the fruit.  
Which takes us back to the classes, Art is also a top favourite but unfortunately for the 3 white-haired brothers they had to drop out…since they kept stealing the fruit that was meant to be painted.

"Shit man! I wanted to take the Sports course SO bad!" Rikku snapped, throwing a tantrum over her arriving late.  
Kuja flicked his hair from out of his pale face, sticking his nose up into the air like an irritable snob before approaching the Art class registration.

"Sorry, but Art class if full." The head of Art explained, Kuja sulked…was there ANY good classes left!?  
Zidane approached the 'Modelling Course'…which was actually more of a job than a class, since all he'd have to do is pose for Art and Photography students.  
Lucky for him that he filled the last spot of Photography too, so he got two very good subjects….both of which require hardly any effort.

"YEAH! I rock!...say…Kuja, what you going to be doing? You haven't even chosen one subject yet!" Zidane yelled, extremely proud of himself getting the 2 subjects he wanted.  
Kuja scowled at Zidane, the hairs on his tail brushing outwards as he let out a slight hiss to his brother. That could mean only one thing. Jealousy.  
Zidane always got the best stuff from Garland and the most attention from the other Genomes, he hated Zidane for being so popular, maybe here he could be the popular one? Yes…make Zidane the lower-life of the two!  
Kuja smirked, rubbed his hands together and started to laugh sinisterly, being the warlock he is he should find great enjoyment in making Zidane suffer.  
Zidane then threw a book at Kuja's head, gaining his attention as he quickly darted around to see what it was that his idiotic brother wanted.

"You have been thrown into the last 2 classes available! Man, are you going to fit in just fine!" Zidane said, laughing.  
Kuja raised an eyebrow before seeing two teachers approach him…they where both WOMEN.  
Rufus was close behind, talking with the Turks…his gun resting on his right shoulder.

"So…the very first man to be in Cooking Class **and** Childcare Class? Who'd have thought it!" the biggest woman said as she looked down on Kuja, smiling….she was REALLY tall, it was almost intimidating.  
Kuja thought that this made his life officially over, not until he saw who he'd be in the same class as.

"Not you!!!" yelled a familiar voice, Kuja's eyes widened as he turned slowly to face the person who yelled…it sounded like a young woman…so familiar…maybe it was----  
Shit.  
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.  
Mikoto.  
Not good! **NOT GOOD!!**

"If I knew you'd be joining the SAME classes as me I'd have taken up Modelling too! My friends will keep laughing at me after they see how much of a puff you are!" Mikoto snapped, turning her back to her older brother quickly as if ashamed of him.  
At least she didn't beat him up this time.  
Rufus was nearby…he would be, the guy loved being around women…especially the very beautiful ones.  
He scurried over to Mikoto and took her hand in his own, acting like a charming young prince and kneeling down on one knee before kissing her hand.

"My, miss…I believe we have not met? Is this….young man….bothering you? I'll get rid of him if you want…just say the word!" Rufus asked as he revealed his shotgun and pointed it in Kuja's direction, Mikoto shook him away and whacked Rufus across the head with his own shotgun before hitting Kuja with it as well.  
She threw it to the ground and huffed at both of them, turning her nose up to the sky and storming off.  
Rufus recovers his prized gun and composure, rubbing his head.

"Damn…she's a feisty one! You her…hehehe...boyfriend?" Rufus asked, trying not to laugh at this...this…man?...in front of him.  
Kuja snorted and smacked Rufus on the back of his head, instantly the Turks surrounded him….their eyes glaring heavily upon the Genome, they had their shock-sticks ready…Reno was tapping his on his hand as if eager to beat the living daylights out of Kuja.  
Rufus regained his posture and brushed of the dirt from his white suit, sliding his hand through his golden-blonde hair and eyeing the Turks as if to say _'do your thing'_.

"So I take it that you are just related….well….she won't mind my bodyguards beating the shit out of you then! Oh and before you say something like _'Balamb Garden will kick you out for that'_ or anything crap like that…I'll let you know that my father paid a mint for me to study here, so they let me carry my weapon at all times…and let me sick my bodyguards on anyone who harms me….but…not on your pretty friend, I don't like seeing girls get beaten up…oh wait, you look like one! Guess that means I can't watch…oh well…ha-ha…" Rufus explained before turning away, laughing hysterically.  
Kuja sweat dropped as the Turks surrounded him, they where all now tapping their shock sticks in a taunting manner.

"Um….can't we rationalise!?" Kuja asked nervously, Reno merely chewed his gum harder and grinned.  
Rude and Tseng started to laugh under their breath as Elena launched the first whack to Kuja's back, Rude was next to attack…soon followed by Tseng and a very hyperactive Reno.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile over in Dorm3, Floor 1…something was happening….

"You idiot! That is a pathetic theory! For one, you got the chemical properties of ferric nitrate and potassium thiocynate wrong! They are Fe3+ and SCN− !!! And your answer is just as incompetent! The ions once reacting together form FeSCN2!!! Therefore this is called a red complex ion, not a 'red thing' like you said!" Sephiroth snapped, his reading glasses firmly sat upon his nose as he started to argue with Zack over the _'Equilibrium Theories And Time/Space Travel'_ he learnt in science class this week.  
Zack, however, was not even studying science…he was doing Mechanics and Weapon/Artillery Handling…two completely different courses to Sephiroth, who was studying Higher Mathematics **and** Science.

"I don't care! All I was stating is that it is technically impossible for you to summon a Meteor to hit the Earth in an EXACT spot!" Zack shouted back, Sephiroth stood up and threw his note-book on the desk…quickly drawing up complicated equations and symbols before showing them to Zack.

"You're an even bigger idiot than I thought! It's so simple, didn't you learn about calculus!? Speed distance X time!? The basics are necessary for you to take any steps further into understanding the Space Time Continuum….which is needed to calculate the speed of the Meteor, you need it's speed before you calculate its distance away from the target….and the equation for the 'Space Time Continuum' is here!! Right here!!!" he snapped, pointing at the equation reading:

S2 R2 -- C2 T2

"Where _c_ is the speed of light, differences of the space and time coordinates of the two events are denoted by _r_ and _t_, respectively and-----" he began, but was quickly interrupted by Zack shouting back….

"I don't want to know any of that science crap! Just tell me in plain English! And STOP calling me an idiot!" Zack shouted.  
Sephiroth quickly took his glasses off, staring at the jet-black haired man before him with his pale green eyes…the cat-like pupils delivering a piercing stare into poor Zack's soul, causing him to back down.  
Sephiroth shifted some of his hair out of his face, before facing Vincent who was happily reading some of his Law & Order revision books on the bed in the far corner.

"Vincent! You can surely support my theory!" Sephiroth asked to the gunman, who slowly turned his gaze from the book to the One Winged Angel, sitting upright and walking towards the door…the book still in his hand.

"Don't get me involved, I'm trying to study." Vincent answered before leaving the room, slamming the door behind him.

"Can't even get Vincent to support you, you must be lying!" Zack snapped, laughing slightly.  
Sephiroth turned to Zack once again, snarling at him before pointing to him in an angry fashion.

"You better watch your mouth, or the walls of this room won't be blue anymore!" Sephiroth growled before picking up his own books and placing his glasses back on his face, opening the door and looking back for a split second before sticking his nose up and slamming the door behind him.

"Ignorant bastard." Zack mumbled.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Vincent approached Dorm2, Floor 1.  
Kadaj was sat outside the door with some earmuffs on, a candy bar locked in his mouth as he sat playing on a brand new PSP.

_'Still the same old childish Kadaj…always on video games and eating sweets…never studying…the poor fool..'_ Vincent thought "Kadaj….Do you know if Cid's in?" he asked, looking down at the teenager.  
Kadaj looked up before turning off his videogame and taking off his earmuffs, the candy bar still hanging in his mouth…he looked very childish indeed.

"Cid was…(muffle)…in with a…(muffle)…new student…(muffle)…he kicked me out, but I don't…(muffle)…care, he told me not to come back in...(muffle)…until his 'session' was over…(muffle)…whatever that...(muffle)…means…" Kadaj answered, talking with the candy in his mouth.  
He quickly gulped it all down before placing the videogame in his pocket, then opening the door to find Cid smoking on his bed….naked….

"Modeling again are we Highwind?" Vincent asked, laughing as Cid cursed under his breath about being interrupted.  
The young woman was sat opposite Cid with a drawing pad, sketching and stuff…the woman was none other than Tifa, who was studying 'Male Figures' for her Art course…she already drew Cloud and the others together as a group…but Cid was the first one of them to be drawn like this, Kadaj looked like he was going to throw up at what he saw….then again, anyone would. **(AN: except crazy Cid fan girls like me!...oh…and Vincent…)**

"You couldn't have fuckin' waited, could ya!?" Cid said in a grumpy tone, still smoking.  
Tifa packed up her things and left, giggling as she hurried past Vincent.  
Kadaj ran into the bathroom immediately, one hand covering his mouth whilst the other firmly grasping his gut-area, he slammed the door behind him and obviously started to be sick.  
Vincent's face squinted slightly at the sight of Cid, he slowly turned away.

"I'm sorry for interrupting, but my place is a little….noisy…" Vincent commented, his back still turned to Cid "….if you like, I can leave….I promise not to say a single word to anyone." Vincent added as he started to slowly leave the room, Cid waved his arms around in protest.

"You can stay as long as ya fuckin' want to, jus' the bastard Kadaj who I wanted outta here…not you." Cid replied, Vincent sighed heavily and continued to leave "I have studying to do, I don't have time for a 'party-animal' like you right now…I thought you would be reading…I'll come back in a few hours, remember….we have that Law test tomorrow. I don't want you failing again." Vincent added as he finally left the room, closing the door softly as he left.  
Cid slammed his hand on the bed in sheer irritation.

"Shit! You seen what ya've fuckin' done now!?" he snapped to Kadaj who was still being sick in the bathroom "…and don't ya make a fuckin' mess in there!! Otherwise you're cleanin' it up!" Cid added, laying back on the bed still smoking.  
This is how insane student life is…but when lessons start up and the teacher is nowhere to be found….things get even more intense.

**AN: Well…not that good either in my opinion, but then again…I am a critical thinker. R & R please.**


	3. Dormatory Chart

--**Disclaimer:** I don't own FF7 or FF7 Advent Children...I don't own FF8, FF9 or FF10…hell I don't even own this idea…..it's just based on a Flash Animation at Newgrounds, I've just added a few more characters and made my own storyline. So don't flame me, or I'll report you.--

**AN: Just something to prevent confusion and stuff.**

Final Fantasy: Mixed In Balamb

**THE FLOORS AND DORMATORYS.**

Floor 1:  
Dorm1 – Cloud, Squall and Tidus.  
Dorm2 – Cid, Kadaj, Sora.  
Dorm3 – Vincent, Sephiroth, Zack.  
Dorm4 – Zell, Auron, Zidane.  
Dorm5 – Yazoo, Vivi, Amarant.

Floor 2:  
Dorm1 – Reno, Rude, Rufus.  
Dorm2 – Elena, Yuna, Garnet.  
Dorm3 – Tifa, Yuffie, Mikoto.  
Dorm4 – Kuja, Rinoa, Selphie.  
Dorm5 – Loz, Rikku, Seifer.

Floor 3:  
Dorm1 – Tseng, Steiner, available space.  
Dorm2 – Kefka, Seymour, Ultimecia.  
Dorm3 – Quina, (Wakka's Ghost), Lulu.  
Dorm4 – Terra, Locke, Mog (A random Moogle).  
Dorm5 – Ward, Edea, Laguna.

Floors 4 & 5 can have whatever characters you wish…but they will not be mentioned or be seen in classes….also, Sora is the ONLY Kingdom hearts character I'm putting up…so sorry to any other KH fans.


	4. Balambs 'Most Haunted'

--**Disclaimer:** I don't own FF7 or FF7 Advent Children...I don't own FF8, FF9 or FF10…hell I don't even own this idea…..it's just based on a Flash Animation at Newgrounds, I've just added a few more characters and made my own storyline. So don't flame me, or I'll report you.--

**AN: I'm glad some people are enjoying this. But I do apologise for me not updating very often, you see…I'm at college and I get very busy…so I'm trying my best.  
Anyway…this part mainly revolves around Wakka's ghost terrorising everyone.**

Final Fantasy: Mixed In Balamb

**Part 3: Balambs 'Most Haunted'.**

All is black, voices are heard in the darkness…the sounds of pages rattling under the bed sheets of the nearby lit-up beds.  
The students where studying late again…it was exactly 12AM.

"Save me your lectures! I need not take them upon me!"

"I pity thee, thou art a fool! Watch me as I had watched my teachers beforehand, learn the traits of those which used the arts that thou need in combat!"

"I dare not take them!"

A shotgun was then fired in the room above causing the students to jump, Vivi tucks his head from above the bed sheet and raises his lamp to the ceiling, closing his Drama book slowly as pieces of dust fell down from above.   
The sounds of shouting and repeated banging was heard from the room above them.  
Yazoo removes his sheet too revealing himself to be also studying Drama, a very ticked-off expression on his face.  
Amarant was sleeping at his desk near the bathroom as if nothing was even happening, one of his books firmly in his hand.  
He was studying Business, unfortunately for him that there are only 3 other students in his class…although Seifer hardly shows up, so there is an average 2 who show up other than him.  
Rufus was one of them.

"KEEP IT DOWN!!" yelled the voice above them, the sounds of more shotgun firing soon followed afterwards.  
Suddenly there was further sounds of other students complaining about Rufus and his shotgun, but like last term the teachers wouldn't do anything about it.  
Luckily for all of them that this doesn't happen very often, normally it just occurs when Vivi can't sleep and decides to practice Drama with Yazoo…no matter how late it is.  
There was a light knock at the door of Yazoo's dorm.

"I'll sort it out Vivi-san, you try to go back to sleep now." Yazoo said as he jumped off the top bunk and approached the door, his lamp in one hand as he used the other to grasp the door knob.  
Vivi nodded and turned his light off before tucking himself back to sleep, hugging his Drama book as he slept.  
Yazoo slowly opened the door to find a VERY tired Sephiroth stood in front of him. Some earplugs were firmly placed in his ears, his dressing-gown was not tied up properly, he yawned continuously and he had some of his science books in one of his hands.  
He'd been pulling another all-nighter.

"What do you want Nii-san?" Yazoo asked, Sephiroth merely yawned and pointed out that he couldn't sleep.  
He seemed too tired to speak.  
Yazoo sighed and looked over to Amarant's desk, noticing several pouches of coffee on it's surface along with some milk cartons.  
Sephiroth pointed to the coffee pouches.

"Zack. Drank all….need coffee…..essay not done yet…." Sephiroth said lethargically as he slowly let his hand stoop back down to his side, Yazoo placed his hands on his hips and eyed Sephiroth. The essay wasn't the only thing keeping him up.

"What else has been bothering you? Has Zack 'invaded your personal space' again? Did Vincent upset you with his vampire-like behaviour? Did he try to 'bite' you again? Ha-ha…Or did Cloud come and take another embarrassing picture of you hugging Mr.Snuggy again?" Yazoo asked comically, Sephiroth didn't seem amused or unhappy at Yazoo's pathetic attempts at making a joke of his own suffering….Sephiroth was just very tired and slow to react to anything, the gunshots above them where just being blocked-out by the One Winged Angel.  
He just yawned and mentioned seeing someone he thought was long dead, but thinking it was simply just a hallucination.  
Yazoo sighed.

"Go back to bed, screw the essay…it doesn't need to be done until next week anyway. You need to sleep Nii-san otherwise you'll end up looking like Kefka tomorrow." Yazoo suggested.  
Sephiroth slowly started to slump forwards, he wouldn't make it back to his dorm in time, especially with him so vulnerable…he could easily be tricked by Cloud who would no doubt be awake because of the noise, Squall was no exception either.  
Those two always tried every opportunity possible to get their enemy embarrassed, Squall has even tried to piss-off Sephiroth on several occasions simply because he and Cloud are best friends and enjoyed upsetting him.  
The last prank Squall and Cloud pulled was getting a picture of Sephiroth cuddling his favourite cat-doll…Mr.Snuggy.  
Cloud even used it in his Photography coursework, that just added to the One Winged Angels hatred for him.  
Yazoo understood that with Sephy being this tired he was an easy target and decided to escort him back to his dorm.

"Nii-san…oh…Nii-san?" said a familiar voice, Yazoo stopped Sephiroth from going any further…the one winged angel collapsing from exhaustion onto his younger brother, snoring fairly loud.  
Kadaj appeared from around the corner, clapping his hands like an idiot. Yazoo pushed Sephiroth off him and sighed with relief that it was only his brother, if Squall or Cloud showed up they would be truly screwed.

"Kadaj…what are you---??" Yazoo began, but Kadaj quickly silenced his brother. He pointed to his own dormitory which wasn't too far away, there was a glowing light coming from the door….Sora was sat outside cowering, hugging his key blade. Cid was just looking towards everyone else as if confused, a mop firmly grasped in his hand.

"There's a ghost in our room! It's possessed the TV!!" Kadaj whispered to his brother, who was helping Sephiroth up.

"Ghost!? Ha. There's no such thing! Everyone knows that the Lifestream takes all those who die, they don't come back as ghosts." Yazoo answered back.

"There IS a ghost in our room! I'll prove it to you!" Kadaj snapped.  
Cid then starts to tap on the teenagers shoulder to gain his attention, his face in absolute shock. Kadaj turns to face what Cid is pointing at to see Sephiroth….looking VERY evil, a strange glow around him….he raised his head to look at everyone and smirked, laughing under his breath.

"SHIT!!! Nii-san's been possessed!!" Kadaj yelled, stumbling over Sora who was still sat on the floor.  
Cid runs down the corridor screaming followed by Kadaj and a now disturbed Yazoo, the possessed Sephiroth looks on…watching the 3 stumble through the corridor screaming.

"That…is just creepy ya…" said Sephiroth in a familiar accent, he turns to Sora who looks up in terror, firmly grasping his key blade to his chest.

"I---I know how to use this!!" Sora yells as he starts randomly swinging the key blade, hitting nothing but the air around him.

"I guess this is just scarin' the sheet out of you…" Sephiroth added, it was now obvious WHO the ghost was that possessed him…Wakka…that lovable idiot.  
Wakka decided he was just scaring everyone using Sephiroth's body, he needed a more 'innocent' or 'friendlier' body.  
Sora's would do just fine…for now.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some time later, Yazoo and the others finally calmed down and decided to head back…only to find Sephiroth sleeping on the floor with Cloud and Squall drawing all over his face with markers, Kadaj rushes over and starts to chase Cloud and Squall away….but gets drawn on himself.  
Yazoo approaches the two with caution.

"Can you stop drawing on my brothers and tell me…did you see where that ghost went?" Yazoo asked, Cloud looked up and stopped drawing on Sephiroth…tossing the marker aside.

"What ghost? When we came here we just saw Sephiroth lying on the floor and Sora laughing crazily….he said he wanted to go see Vincent to gain the secrets to his power…so we 'borrowed' Sephiroth's keys and gave them to him." Cloud answered.  
Squall suddenly stopped drawing and ran down the corridor screaming after seeing something…horrible.  
Everyone turned to see Vincent stood there, glowing….Sora behind him crying….Cloud looks on and doesn't notice anything…everyone else, however, is screaming and running around like headless chickens.  
Sephiroth finally wakes up.

"This shit has got to stop." He muttered as he drew Masamune, Wakka reveals himself and Vincent passes out, Sephiroth looks on in shock.

"You!! I killed you!!" he shouts in terror, everyone else is further down the corridor shouting to Sephiroth to get rid of the ghost.  
Wakka floats down to Sephiroth.

"Ya, you killed me…so now I'm goin' to make you pay for it." Wakka said as Sephiroth tried to impale Masamune into him…but of course, being a ghost the blade doesn't harm him, it just passes right through his chest.  
Sephiroth steadily grows more frustrated and terrified as he continues to stab the Wakka Ghost.  
After so long the ghost gets bored and decides to wail around the corridor.  
Lulu then appears from the shadows mysteriously, approaches Wakka who is enjoying himself by teasing everyone….or should I say…_terrifying everyone._

"Wakka, stop it. How many times have I told you not to leave the dorm!? Ghosts are only supposed to haunt ONE location!" Lulu snapped, the Wakka Ghost cowers after being yelled at.

"But Lulu…."

"NO! Just stop it Wakka! Go back to the dorm and pester Quina! S/he's getting on my nerves!"

The Wakka Ghost sulks and floats upwards to the floors above, sounds of more screaming is heard as he travels upwards.  
Everyone else on Floor 1 look up in shock and confusion, Lulu adjusts her dressing gown.

"We tried to keep it under wraps, but I guess he got bored. He can't hurt you, so just ignore him…if he possesses you, just yell at him and he'll go away." Lulu explained, yawning afterwards.

"Pretty pathetic for a ghost then, isn't he?" Cloud laughed, Sephiroth smacks Cloud on the head with the handle of his Masamune to stop him laughing.  
Everyone hated it when Cloud laughed, he would never stop until the joke either got old or someone _forced_ him to stop. Normally by threatening him.

"It doesn't matter, he was only having fun. Anyway, he won't bother you outside the campus….if he tries to leave Balamb he'll return to the Lifestream." Lulu answered.  
Vincent recovers from his unconscious state rubbing his head, he looks up to see everyone around in their pyjamas, talking about ghosts and Wakka.  
Several of them just yawned and waved to everyone as they returned to their dorms, Sephiroth was threatening Cloud after discovering he had drawn all over his face with markers, Sora was sleeping on the floor after all the chaos had left him exhausted and Squall stood there taking pictures of everything that was going on.  
Zack opens the door to see Vincent and Sora on the floor and all other forms of chaos enduring, he unplugs his ears and glances densely at Vincent before yawning.

"What the fuck just happened out here?" Zack asked, Vincent shrugged and looked on in confusion as Sephiroth and Cloud fought in the corridor.  
That's Balamb for you, crazy and confusing as hell….and there is nothing that will change that.

**AN: I didn't think this turned out as good as I wanted it to, but then again…I am full of cold and I am struggling to type what I want to, but the next chapter involves a Yaio-pairing…so I thought I'd warn you now. Review please!**


	5. Authors Notice

--**Disclaimer:** I don't own FF7 or FF7 Advent Children...I don't own FF8, FF9 or FF10…hell I don't even own this idea…..it's just based on a Flash Animation at Newgrounds, I've just added a few more characters and made my own storyline. So don't flame me, or I'll report you.--

**AN: First of all, sorry I haven't been posting much….when I moved my internet connection messed up…next thing I know, all my fan fiction is gone because of a technical fault on my PC…so I've had to type up the whole thing again.  
So, the next chapter will be the last for THIS fan fiction…at least for a while.  
Thanks again for waiting, and once again I am sorry.**


	6. Why Tidus Shouldn't Offer Kefka Cookies

--**Disclaimer:** I don't own FF7 or FF7 Advent Children...I don't own FF8, FF9 or FF10…hell I don't even own this idea…..it's just based on a Flash Animation at Newgrounds, I've just added a few more characters and made my own storyline. So don't flame me, or I'll report you.--

**AN: I said there would be slight Yaio in this chapter…but I don't even think this is even REAL yaio…it's not even real romance, it's just a game they play.  
So, don't worry yaio-haters! This chapter revolves around Tidus trying to be nice to everyone. And Kefka destroys a class after being offered cookies! So don't panic!...Loz, Yazoo & Kadaj play 'Flip The Bird' which is a harmless romance game.  
Oh yeah, and I love My Chemical Romance so don't yell at me for it otherwise you are incompetent. Read on!**

Final Fantasy: Mixed In Balamb

**Part 4: Why Tidus Shouldn't Offer Kefka Cookies.**

Winter sucked at Balamb, it was the last week before a short holiday lasting only 5 days that the teachers conveniently named 'the big break'…the teachers often hated their jobs more than their students, they would just giving troublemakers a slap on the wrist before resuming their teachings…so this holiday was great for them, especially at this time of year where Balamb students get more drunk from parties and end up missing important classes…or showing up in a bad mood.  
But there where a few exceptions; Tidus is a goodie-two-shoes who never drinks at parties or does anything against Balamb rules, Rinoa has an obsession over being exactly on time for her classes (too early and she freaks out, too late and she passes-out) and Tseng…although he has times where he has been late…always wants the other students to stay under control…HIS control.  
Tseng (along with Rufus) have made many plans to take over Balamb themselves and make it a better place for students…ones who like to work (Rinoa, Tidus and Vivi for example) instead of ones who just like to party, get drunk and screw every girl they see. (Zidane, Auron and Cid for example)  
Tseng's obsession over classroom behaviour drove him to becoming one of the Hall Monitors, every student fears him and Rude since they don't snitch on misbehavers…they blackmail them or 'persuade' them to behave properly.  
The other Turks had decent chances at becoming Hall Monitors, but Reno is one of the laziest son of a bitches you will ever find in Balamb, Elena always has her head stuck in her workbook and other 'minor Turks' either graduated early or have been sent home.  
Even if the other Turks are not Hall Monitors, Rufus and Tseng have ordered Reno to be the one who gets 'the dirt on bad students' and reports it back to them.  
Since Reno is a troublemaker himself (getting drunk and even pretending to be a girl so he can sneak into the girls shower room) he gets sent to the Principles office often…and being a Turk, he is good at sneaking around and always gets 'the dirt' whenever requested.  
Reno found out that one of the major troublemakers in Balamb had a mental disorder, he HATED anything that was too 'girly'. If he was offered anything like that he would be greatly insulted and destroy something, before beating up the poor person who offered the object to him.  
If you have not guessed who this nutcase is yet, then I'll tell you.  
Kefka is the worst lone-student troublemaker in Balamb; he has set fire to carpets, destroyed half of a science lab after mixing chemicals he wasn't supposed to even have, starts all the food fights, offends the teachers and insults them regularly, curses when he doesn't get what he wants, beats up someone when he DOES get what he wants, harasses Kuja and Sephiroth, bugs Seymour until he makes him cry, beats up the Turks for no real reason at all, eats Ultimecia's goldfish….okay, I think you get it now. He's a mean bastard, it's a good thing there is only one of him.  
Unlike Kadaj's gang, 3 crazy young brothers together with their total smart-ass older brother….a true recipe for disaster.

Kadaj and his 2 younger brothers do have classes to attend, but they often don't show up…unless of course they get shouted at by Hojo or someone else into going.  
Sometimes they just walk into other classes and trash the place, they have been told countless times to stop (otherwise they will be kicked out of Balamb, that would piss Hojo off and then they would be in deep trouble) but have yet to even show signs of it.  
The gang gave themselves a very crappy name, it's so crap that it even attracted new members.  
They call themselves 'The Black Parade' since the members all dress in black and play music…even though the instruments they play are not really 'parade' material.  
Kadaj is surprisingly a good singer, Loz loves his drums and Yazoo enjoys playing the guitars (he'll play any of them, he loves guitars to death) and Sephiroth occasionally plays the piano.  
Even though the other gang members play either minor instruments or none at all, they still do organised crime OUTSIDE of Balamb.  
Sneaking out of the campus after late-hours, Kadaj's gang will pull off crimes such as robbery and arson. They haven't been arrested…yet…but they will get what they deserve if they don't stop.  
Luckily for everyone outside of Balamb, the gang is being monitored 24/7 for any 'criminal activity' by the police.

"Gimme some of that!!"

"No way! This is the last of the stash we got before our curfew!"

"Greedy bastard."

"Shut up! You had your share yesterday! You didn't saver it, you just gulped it down like water!"

"I'll see if Auron has any of his left…"

Loz exits the new dorm specially built for the 3 brothers, Kadaj sits on the floor hugging a bottle of Jack Daniels whiskey before receiving a phone call on his mobile.  
He answered it and hid his bottle under the bed.  
Alcohol has been banned in Balamb for over 5 years and the gang (along with Auron and Rufus) specialise in 'smuggling' alcohol into Balamb, since old-time bribery to the teachers didn't work they had to sneak out at night and get it.  
But now, not even that will work. Tseng was heavily persuaded by the Balamb Council to stop the smuggling, Rufus had to accept that it had to stop too…he had to lie to the Turks because he was still reluctant to stop smuggling altogether, it was business. HIS business.  
Rufus had to keep his contacts with Kadaj's gang under wraps, he even started to hide his plans and ideas from the Turks to ensure no one could stop them.  
The only problem was, Rufus had no new plans that wouldn't involve the use of guns, his unhealthy obsession with guns and weapons made 'the business' difficult…since when they tried smuggling a long time ago with Rufus by their side he kept shooting at anything else that moved other than them. And that blew the job.  
They needed to make a new plan themselves, there was no way they would resort to using their weapons just to smuggle some alcohol into a school.

"Hey, didn't expect you to call. What is it?" Kadaj laughed, the person on the other side of the phone seemed to sound worried.

"No way!...shit…you're joking…please, tell me you're joking!" Kadaj sounded very worried, but not as much as the person he was talking to.

"He passed out?...who…did anyone else see…what?... no, we're fine…we haven't said a word…" Kadaj calmed down a little.

"Look…I'll think of something, just give me some more time…" Kadaj reassured the person on the other side of the phone. Must be Rufus, that guy gets very paranoid and worried over small things.  
Yazoo, who was sat on the bed drinking his bottle of whiskey, remained silent.

"NO! No guns!!" Kadaj yelled down the phone.  
The response on the other end didn't sound too good.

"I am NOT risking my family's livelihood for some business!" he answered back, Rufus' responded just like before…he was pissed off.

"NO! You leave Sephiroth out of this! He'll snitch to both our fathers if he finds out!" Kadaj snapped.  
Rufus seemed to calm down a little, but still didn't sound too happy.

"Yeah…uh-huh…yep…okay, see you tomorrow. And remember, no guns…and leave Sephiroth out of this, if he finds out he'll kill both of us…okay…bye." Kadaj finished and turned off his phone before grabbing his whiskey again.

"Rufus sounded really pissed off." Yazoo giggled.

"He was, Auron just ran out of his stash and has passed out…and the medical staff found out he was drunk…So Rufus got taken to the Principle and was blamed for it, he's under watch now and the Turks are a little uneasy about how he keeps going on about 'finding newer and bigger businesses' to take over instead of this small alcohol smuggling." Kadaj answered, drinking some of his whiskey.  
The two sat in silence for a while.

"When Loz comes back do you fancy a game of 'Shit-head' or something?" Yazoo asked, breaking the silence and started rocking back and forth on the bed.  
Kadaj rubbed his chin.

"But you have to be drunk to play that…and we don't have enough alcohol to get drunk…how about we play 'Flip The Bird' or try hunting for Santa again?" Kadaj answered.

"We can't hunt for Santa yet, it's no where near Christmas…and the grumpy old pilot would get mad again if we smashed up his bus like last year when we looked for him." Yazoo answered, Kadaj chuckled.

"Not as bad as when we 'persuaded' Cloud to wear a dress and got him and Sephiroth to drink Irish Whiskey! Loz broke his arm if I remember…and you couldn't walk for 2 months!" Kadaj laughed, Yazoo was not amused at his brothers childish behaviour but let out a giggle anyway to prevent any argument.

"And—hehehe….and when Nii-san found out that Cloud was trying to make a move on him! That was hilarious! Cloud cried for weeks! Rufus…hehehe…oh my god, when he accidentally blew a hole in the ceiling and looked through it that one time when we had a party at his place, it was so damn funny! He poked his head right into the girls bathroom! BLACK EYE! Hehehe…even after that he tried to make a move on Mikoto even after she dumped him the first time! The bastard never learns!" Kadaj joked and remembered all the stupid incidents that happened many months ago.  
Yazoo was still not amused.

"I think we should forget about all that boring shit and play 'Flip The Bird' when Loz comes back." Yazoo suggested.

"OH! What about the time when Kefka lit a petrol bomb using Nanaki's tail and blew up the old-school janitor's tractor!? Hilarious!" Kadaj laughed, Yazoo hit him on the head with his whiskey bottle causing it to smash…he had to shut his brother up.

"Aww….damn! I had a few drops left in that!" Yazoo complained as his brother collapsed onto the floor, he was fine…just a little…surprised.  
Then again, it's not every day that someone hits you on the head with a bottle of whiskey.   
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile in French class, the poor teacher is having to cope with a very unhappy Kefka and a troublesome Ultimecia.

"Kefka! Don't touch that!!!"  
There is the sound of something smashing.

"NO! Don't touch that either!! It doesn't belong to Balamb!"  
Something else is broken, what it was, we just don't know.  
Ultimecia throws a French book at Kefka.

"S'asseoir en bas et fermer ton bouche!" Ultimecia snapped at Kefka, who had turned instantly to glare at the one who threw the book…which now laid on the floor in pieces.

"You shut your mouth! And quit it with that French crap!" Kefka yelled as he smashed Ultimecia's desk in all his fury, snapping it in two.  
Ultimecia reacted in the only way possible: Bitchiness.  
She slapped him across the face and forced him to sit back down at his desk, kicking him if he tried to get up again and slapping him before he has the chance to say something.  
What could possibly happen now that Ultimecia has forced Kefka to calm down?  
Nothing, they hoped.

"HELLO!!" yelled a hyperactive voice.

"Oh hell no, please don't let it be….him!" Ultimecia said as she covered her face with her hands, Kefka was already irritated by the sheer annoyance of the woman…but now he was being irritated by this hyperactive voice.  
That was when Tidus stepped in.

"Bonjour! Guttentag! Hello! Um…I brought you all cookies! My teacher said I needed to leave the classroom before Kuja did something bad to me, so I decided to come here and give all my buddies cookies!!" Tidus said cheerfully in a very moronic tone, he was clueless to the real reason why the teacher wanted him to leave.  
Tidus is stupid and annoying…VERY, VERY annoying. He is almost as stupid as he is annoying. Am I annoying you now with the repeating of the word annoying? EH!? Oh, forget it.

"How nice of you Tidus! Come on in!" the teacher approved just as stupidly as Tidus would.  
He skipped in and started to hand out cookies to all the classmates…until he reached Kefka that is.

"Here's some for you too Kefka!" Tidus said cheerily, Kefka smacked the cookies away and flipped his table over before screaming at the top of his lungs.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he yelled as he grabbed Tidus' shirt and slammed him into a nearby wall.

"Who made you do this to me!!? Eh!? Tell me who the insulting bastard is and I _might_ spare you!" Kefka snapped, Tidus continued to smile like an idiot.

"No one did, I came myself!" Tidus chuckled, that made Kefka even more irritated.  
All the other students' eyes widened before they fled the room, it became empty very quickly.  
Kefka threw Tidus aside and started to take deep breaths, gritting his teeth and clenching his fists.

"I fucking HATE cookies!!!" he yelled as he started to destroy the classroom, Tidus laughed nervously as he was fleeing the room too…before Kefka torched the French-classroom in all his fury.  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, Kadaj and Yazoo where tossing a coin shouting 'BIRDIE!' at the top of their lungs when Loz came back…in tears after finding out there was no more alcohol.

"Yo, cry-baby! Come play!" Kadaj yelled as Yazoo flipped the coin again.  
The coin had a chocobo on both sides, one from FF9 and another from FF7. The rules of 'Flip The Bird' where simple, but since neither of the players where female the rules had to be changed.  
The original game involved people 'making-out' with the person sat closest to them, a FF9 chocobo meant you had to kiss a person of your choice and a FF7 chocobo meant you had to 'make-out' with the person on your right. How these 3 guys play it, I don't know.

"1-2-3---BIRDIE!!!" Yazoo and Kadaj shouted as the coin was flipped by Yazoo again, the coin landing on the FF9 chocobo.

"Kadaj! Gimme some of your whiskey first!" Yazoo demanded in a slightly drunken voice, his words slurring as he spoke.

"Hehe...why should I?" Kadaj laughed before being kissed on the lips by Yazoo, who giggled in joy after snatching Kadaj's whiskey from him.

"Mine-mine-mine-mine-MINE!" Yazoo sang as he lifted the bottle to his mouth, Kadaj leapt at him in rage…no one touches HIS stuff.

"Gimme that back!" Kadaj snapped, Yazoo held the bottle out of poor Kadaj's reach and teased him, telling him to 'win it back' or else.  
It was Loz' turn now, he flipped the coin and quietly mumbled 'birdie' in hope it would be the FF9 chocobo. Kadaj was a little unhappy, but at least he wasn't near drunk like Yazoo.  
Oh dear, FF7 chocobo.

"LOZ!!! C'mere!!!" Yazoo yelled as he leapt for his older brother, Kadaj took this chance to get his whiskey back and drink some of it.

Outside, Sephiroth was on his way to see his brothers and make sure they where not doing anything stupid.  
He reached for the doorknob when he heard strange sounds, he pressed his ear against the door and listened…sounded like talking…giggling?...and…a drunk shouting?

"Yazoo! Don't touch that!—OW!! Stop it! YAZOO!!"

"Hehe…Yazoo, that's not how you do it."

"Waaa? I'll show ya!"

"Yazoo! Stop it!"

"Los, stop complaining. And put that away Yazoo…hehe…we don't want to see that."

"Awww…why not? Mine's better than yours!"

"Prove it."

"C'mere then Kadaj!"

"Yazoo, no…NO! Get away!"

There is the sound of giggling along with the sound of a thud on the ground, Sephiroth remained silent and slightly disturbed.

"OW!! Damn, you where not joking when you said it was hard!"

"Uhhh…an big, eh?"

"Fuckin' hell yeah! Wish mine was that big!"

"Kadaj, quit hogging it! Yazoo wasn't done showing me yet!"

"Heeeeeeyyyy…there's enough for both of ya!" 

Sephiroth had had enough, he slammed himself into the door regardless of what he was about to see inside, he had to make sure they didn't do anything stupid.

"LISTEN HERE YOU IDIOTS----!!!?" Sephiroth shouted as the door flung open to reveal Loz sat on the floor, Kadaj laying on a bed and Yazoo holding a giant baseball bat.

"Nii-san!! What are you doing here? Yazoo was just showing us his iron baseball bat…wanna see?" Kadaj said innocently.  
Sephiroth remained silent.

"Why did I get a spongy one?" Loz complained, Yazoo then hit him on the back with his iron bat.

"Cuz you're a fuckin' wuss!!!" Yazoo slurred in a drunk voice again.  
Sephiroth shook his head to rid himself of the _horrible_ images he got from hearing the noises earlier.

"Look, what the hell has been going on in here!?" he demanded, cleaning his glasses before putting them in his shirt pocket.

"Well, we WHERE playing 'flip the bird' until Yazoo brought up the topic of baseball bats after Loz got all nervous and went stiff on him as they where making out. Then Yazoo started to whack Loz with the bat and we got into an argument over who's was better…then you came in Nii-san." Kadaj explained, Sephiroth was slightly sickened at first but quickly shook off the feeling of throwing up.

"You do realise that is a game for COUPLES? And that you need women to play it…and…wait a minute…who taught you this game in the first place!!?" Sephiroth shouted, the 3 brothers cowering slightly under the sheer wrath of their older brother.

"Tell me or ELSE!!" Sephiroth snapped.

"Rufus and Cid! At a party a couple of weeks ago Rufus got bored and asked Cid if he had any game ideas…and he brought that up and taught us the rules, but all the women left the party…that's why we got bored." Kadaj began, Sephiroth stared at them in an intimidating fashion to get all the information out of them.

"A-And since Vincent lost Cid's cigarettes he was desperate to play something to take his mind off it…so…Rufus changed the rules slightly and we played it." Yazoo added.

"B-b-but nobody got hurt! Honest!" Loz finished, Sephiroth retreated to the doorway again afterwards, shuddering.

"Stay here, shut up and don't do anything you KNOW you will regret. I'll be back in 10 minutes." He instructed before slamming the door shut, the 3 brothers giggled before playing the game again.  
God damn fucking idiots.

**AN: I thought this one was random as hell…especially with Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo playing 'flip the bird'. Lol. Review please!**

_"S'asseoir en bas et fermer ton bouche!" (FRENCH)_

"Sit down and shut your mouth!" (ENGLISH)


End file.
